Music for a Bell Jar

by blueberryseason

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about

***ALBUM #2*** Traveling in song, getting perspective, finding footing in what is real by expressing what I feel and I feel this is the best thing I've done but it's just fragments of what I envisioned. Melodies and harmonies, pop songs and anti-pop songs - the perfect mish-mash for whoever wants to listen to whatever.

credits

released October 1, 2007

written, recorded and produced by Arthur Medrano in his bedroom

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about

blueberryseason New York, New York

blueberryseason is composed of a sole member - Arthur Medrano. He has been home recording, performing and busking since 2006. Inspired by the poetry that he reads and writes, he crafts songs with a literary edge that are both heart-rending and inspiring. ... more

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Track Name: would write
my best friend is the baddest motherfucker i know
takes all the girls that he wants back to his home
in the ashes of the wildfire
that's becoming his lifestyle

you said you would write
didn't you
you said it's alright
didn't you
you said you would write
from your way

my best friend was caught just the other day
caught with a pound of crack/cocaine
in the absence of your brother
he will find it hard to recover

you said you would write
didn't you
you said it's alright
didn't you
you said you would write
from your way

i don't know where my friend has gone
posted bail and is on the run
now he's living under covers
and he will fight those who discover

you said you would write
didn't you
you said it's alright
didn't you
you said you would write
on my grave
Track Name: dig down
every single day
i lie
words dig down today
i cry
but it seems that
i can't face
the world today
and it's crushing me like a blow
every single thing
i bite
the words dig down
and i'm blind
but it seems that i can't face
the world as it is today
and it's crushing me
so slow
Track Name: north country
looking out the window
see the pitter-patter of the rain
life comes at you fast
when you're staring at the door
said i have seen
all the things that've been
and now it's gone
without a trace
all that's left
is your seared face
these days i can't seem
to make a connection
stand before the mirror and look at my beaten reflection
said i have seen
all the things i've been
and now it's gone
been displaced
without a doubt
i've been erased
i could never hit without your love
i could never sing without your help me please
Track Name: no good for anyone
'said I broke down all the doors
and I am begging for more
now i'm no good for anyone anymore
and i'm no good for anyone anymore
said i hit all of the skies
i burned out most of my eyes
now i'm no good for anyone anymore
yea i'm no good for anyone anymore
seems we've been drowning in the pool of sorrow
caught in all the things we've borrowed

i feel amused but not impressed caught up in things keep me depressed
i'm out of time spent all my dimes i've got no luck i've been deprived
i get choked up i feel mistrust upon my spine i trust no lies
i've got no lust falling from rust we lose our lives rolling di
said I broke down all the doors
and i am begging for more
now i don't care for anyone anymore
yea i don't care for anyone anymore

i hit the sky burn out my eyes
i feel depressed put to the test
i feel surprised i get a rise
from choking ducks upon these fucks
we seem to think plurality as some sick virtue or disguise
of all our wealth upon bad health i'm feeling green got to be pleased

i feel depressed put to the test
i hit the skies burn out my eyes
from choking ducks upon these fucks
i get a rise i feel so sad...
i broke down all the doors
and i am begging for more
but i don't care for anyone anymore
yea i'm no good for anyone anymore
Track Name: sinnin' for you
what to deliver
what to disguise
what to remember
time has arrived
nothing works in this goddamned place
i need a new living
i need my own space

but jesus christ
don't ya know
i've been searching for you

jesus christ
don't ya know
i've been sinnin' for you

i broke the mirror again
i just might have to come for you
all these things i can not do
reveal to me that i'm through with you

jesus christ
don't ya know
what's deserving of you

jesus christ
don't ya know
i'm repenting for you

what does it mean
when you're asked so slow
what does it mean
get down on the floor
i couldn't hit any part of your heart
you were face down and i killed your mom

but jesus christ
don't ya know
i've been killin' for you

jesus christ
don't ya know
i've been sinnin' for you

what's left to languish
please bow to your god
i don't hallucinate anymore
what to deliver
why can't i hide?
surrender fatigue come
come round that side

jesus christ
don't ya know
i have done this for you

jesus christ
don't ya know
now they're coming for me

my love is pierced with the strength of ten men
and a red pen scribbled across my chest
we come together to find the truth
they don't know i've killed you too

jesus christ
don't you know?
i'm a killer for you
jesus christ
don't you know?
i'm not listening to you
Track Name: aura lee
verse 1
oh orely
can't you see -
what you've done
decimated all my vowels
my bed sleeps in showers
didn't love you
or me

verse 2
this november low
makes me feel oh so indecisive
ergo i feel unfree
didn't let you see
that which belonged to me
didn't know you
or me

oh and i feel sunset on me
oh this is real
together apart
we start to grow inside
and on the outside
we start to grow
together apart we'll shine

waiting for the dew
in your eyes
that held me captive
Track Name: blanket statement
verse 1
oh orely
can't you see -
what you've done
decimated all my vowels
my bed sleeps in showers
didn't love you
or me

verse 2
this november low
makes me feel oh so indecisive
ergo i feel unfree
didn't let you see
that which belonged to me
didn't know you
or me

oh and i feel sunset on me
oh this is real
together apart
we start to grow inside
and on the outside
we start to grow
together apart we'll shine

waiting for the dew
in your eyes
that held me captive


************************************************************************
i've got my apology written
and it tells you time
has made me more than sorry
though i almost died

you'll find the words are blurry
half of it won't make sense
but i tried to make the most of it
to praise what we had

why don't you try harder
change states of mind
why don't you try just getting alive
to find yourself

i find it hard to leave
cos' you're still on my mind
but you know it won't be that way
once i get what's mine

i'm welling up with sorrow
cos' never tried to go
past the surface level
of what was our own

why don't you try harder
keep memories at bay
why can't you get better
she'll leave you on your knees

you can take your morals
and throw them away
you can take your anger
face it at me
but it won't fix any problem
so long as we are dead

we tried to make it work and we
did not find our ends
i've run a billion thoughts in my head
and i don't care anymore

why can't you try harder
why must you leave me so
why don't you try harder to please
your own damn self
Track Name: moonshine
never been held ever like this
my life unfolds for just one kiss
your eyes tell lies and i can't hide
but i will sing

i've been held by your landslide love
i've been derailed by your caldera
honey you make my heart grow
just a little bit
honey you make my heart shine
feeling infinite

here i will spin

i found a pool and drowned in it
i found an altar bathed in it
my lies increase through the skies
except for this

i've been held by your moonshine love
yes i've been jailed by your white lightning
honey you make my heart glow
just a little bit
honey you make my heart shine
nearing infinite

still i won't quit

i found a torture i can't miss
i've found that i've just been dismissed
i'm feeling numb and my eyes are starting to fail
Track Name: oh LJ
oh LJ
how i miss
you so
oh oh
you were there
to deliver me from my home
then one day i got real fucking sick
had to sever myself from the shit
my
mind
wrote
i was not right
oh LJ
won't you please
be softer to my touch?
won't you please
be patient with me
because before i got real fucking sick
had to sever myself from the shit
my
mind
wrote
i was not right
oh LJ
won't you please take me back again
into lives of others and self
Track Name: war
i am the author
of a war
a war that's raging
keep me whole

and you start to feel alive
for death's real corner by your side
yea its creeping through our brains
our breaths are seemingly broken now
and you start to feel alive

i am a blessing
in disguise
rebuild and function
counterclockwise

yea i start to feel the same
the times we're running through the ash
yea i start to feel my brain
we're talking through our mouths she said
yea i start to feel the same

talking through my breath
explosions where you met
in time you will see
the many things you'll be
your time will surely come

run circling round the hedges
finding potential wasted
Golden Vs?
in time you will see
more to this
we won't be fighting over land
we'll fight for seas
cos' it's damn sure i'm right
~~~~~~~~~~
cos' i'm damn sure i'm right
all the time to keep me hiding nothing's coming to me
nothing worth the wait

i am a crisis
been resolved
finally addressing
what is wrong
Track Name: wink away
what you get is what you see
never falling but never free
always trying out
always trying out

what you get is what you see
when you're falling
you'll never see
what is around
what is around

take a picture
talk about yourself
you're out of focus
wink away
the catalyst of your eye
has not yet been supplied

what you get is what you see
when you're flying
are you really free
try to figure out
try to figure out

then you fall upon the brakes
stumble a bit
and then you break
when your eyes are satisfied
you'll be well supplied

won't you take on my life
believing fixed false beliefs
won't you take on my life
see the pain that's been reeled in
won't you take on my life
paranoia's at your door
synapses firing frantically
see the fear that's been fixed in

what you get is what you see
never falling but never free
always trying out
always trying out
Track Name: kiss yr knees
i need love
i need warmth
tender kisses
on my temple divine
i need hugs
stolen rugs
my june bug
the death on her lips
vista honorae
choni dobzre
you're my blood
running red
from sheets slit
upon my bed
you're my water
turned to wine
girl you're sweeter
than any blasphemy i could give
examine laude
liefje cerce
kiss yr knees
in remembrance
of a prayer
you once answered for yourself